- Pointless Super Powers

you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

The power to remember and talk about random Pokémon facts during a life and death situation.

The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

The power to be fireproof under water

to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

The power to put up with your in-laws.

The power to see through glass walls.

The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

To be able to levitate one object in front of you for one second a day

The power to disintegrate yourself

The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

The power to smile uncontrollably.

The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

The power to used any power i want when you're asleep

The power to die.

The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

The power to grab a cats face

The power to remove your foreskin at any given time

The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

The power to speak braille.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!