The ability to eat anything except for food

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the power to control your own body movements

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The power to make things disappear when I shut my eyes, then bring them back when I open them.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to grow your nails longer

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The ability to speak Latin but only when no one can hear you

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The power to waste money

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The power to see through glass. Oh wait.

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The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

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Nothing to see here, keep moving...

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the pouwer giv mee gramr

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the power to instantly die

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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the power to see when the lights are on

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The power to be powerless

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to eat 100kgs of ice cream and only get type 2 diabetes

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The power to self destruct

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The ability to explode. With no healing factor.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!