The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to be hating when you see me rollin. Moral: ;D

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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The Power to make PotNoodle...

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the power to know when someone queefed

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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Th powr to typ th 5th lttr.

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

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The power to control unsalted butter very slightly with huge amounts Of effort

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The power to compare anything to pr0n because "you know it when you see it."

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The power to do back flips whenever you want to but only in your mind.

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The power to turn into batman only after the bad guys left

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The power in which whatever you touch into a meme or prank.

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The ability to push "pull" doors, and pull "push" doors.

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The power to never finish what you sta...

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The power to make a Stegosaurus appear when you make a time-machine!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!