the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to shit bricks, uncontrollably.

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The ability to float sideways very slowly

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the power of turn yourself into a mexican

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The power to wipe your ass with one confetti

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The power to use yo momma jokes in a masterful manner in all conversations.

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to make any liquid luke warm (it works both ways)

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The power to taste food 3 seconds before they eat it.

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_/?\_ (?`_´) SON GET IN THE SCOUT TANK WE'RE KILLING THE SCAMMERS

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the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

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the power to like mass effect 3

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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The power to be indecisive about which seat you can take.

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The ability to walk five hundred miles but than you have to walk five hundred more.

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The power of making your tits smaller

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The power to change place with any famous boxer everytime he gets hit. Moral: Hate me, love me... in the end you cannot hate what you do not care about do you? Remember this, when someone hates you, its simply because they care and worry about you... probably the only moral that makes sense... life is beautiful, thank you haters, thank you lovers, and you know what they say... haters gonna hate... they are all just a fluffy bunch of people that care too much :)

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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ability to smack the crap out of austin calhounh and laugh at him

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The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

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The power to die at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!