The power to not be Chuck Norris.

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The power to orgasm everytime you pee.

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The ability to sleep but only when you don't want to

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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the power to feed a dog peanut butter and not laugh

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The ability to hid your cats right ear for strenuous amounts of time

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The ability to levitate but only if you're touching the ground

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The power to be born on the same day as your birthday.

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the power to stay up all night and take long naps during the day

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the power to feel the emotions of other people, that are severely depressed.

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The power to become CHUCK NORRIS! (if you are a teen) Which by activation you realize he is just a mediocre actor... and worst... over 70 years of age...

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The ability to not talk.

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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The power to never get drunk

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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The power to transform your appearance so that you look unmistakably like yourself.

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The ability to do a backflip on a trampoline, but only if you are picking your nose and eating a carrot at the same time

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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The ability to fly... But when your not in the air

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The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

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the ability to predict the winning lottery numbers in a completely random order

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The useless power to write about useless powers...

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the power to shit with your mouth

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!