The power to sing in Portuguese, but only when you're being arrested.

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The power to fly, but only when you're on a plane

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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The power to to do everything a normal human can do.

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the power to be able to speel ronj

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The ability to turn cement into pudding

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The power to die everytime you pee

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

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the power to in power your self

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The power to make coma patients bark.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

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The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

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The power to use very big words but only when your at a retarted people convention

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The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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The power to make water come out of your fingertips in a slow trickle, the way it looks in the shower.

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the power to be an incest pedo called jack sanders.

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The ability to part hair.

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The power to turn into birdseed

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!