the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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The power to fart tear gas

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The power to expand the size of your head and gain weak telekinesis, but you die in 3 days, the bigger you make your head, the more powerful your telekinesis but the faster you die.

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Taekwondo

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The power to become invisible to anyone not looking at you or at your general direction.

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The power to grow new teeth.

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the power to read your own thoughts

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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The power to detect which kitchen drawers contain the silverwear at other peoples houses

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The power to melt into a pile of sentient goo, but be unable to move or change back.

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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The power to change your emotions at will

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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The power to walk on lava but you are not resistant to it

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The power to not be Chuck Norris.

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The ability to turn into any inanimate object, but you can't turn back.

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The power to touch the lava when falling off the couch

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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The ability to levitate but only if you're touching the ground

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power to speak only one language

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The ability to breathe oxyen, but only when in space.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!