The power to breath at will.

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the power to itch your teeth

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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Acid pee

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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the power to be able to blow air

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The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

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The power to Remove 23% of Lint from your clothing Using only A Lint roller.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

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The power to have a power.

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The power to see who is writing these powers

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The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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The power to finish work instantly but only after the deadline

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the ability to make something that docent exists

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The power to get your blackberry to turn on slightly faster

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the power to see into the present.

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constantly flowing sexy anime hair.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!