The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The ability to heat up an object by 1 degree for every week you hold it.

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The power to have hindsight.

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The power to write fast but only when your hungry

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to be one second faster than 5mph in any 80's arcade game using one finger to push the buttons

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to easily dodge any bullets from any weapons ever... as long as the bullets are made of cheese.

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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The ability to grow a third nostril.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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The power to die when you use the letter e.

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the ability to make toast while standing on your head at 12:46 every Tuesday Greenwich Meridian Time.

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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The power to phase through walls, but only when you're in an airplane.

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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the ability to make your penis more sophistcated than yourself

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The power to easily persuade people to your opposing viewpoint

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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you can get lots of pussy, but their all severed

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to fart glitter at birthday parties.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!