The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

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the power to count from A to purple

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The power to not get shit dick

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the power to turn O2 into CO2

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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ability to have sexual intercourse with homosexuals like Levi Hahne

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The ability to turn into a werewolf but only when your holding silver

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to be able to insult that piece of shit Chuck Norris without bein... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *dead* And of course the ability to type you`re death scream and you`re status after you`re dead.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to spell 'a' correctly

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The power to urinate in mouth.

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to scare female plants.

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The ability to turn wine into water...

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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The power to think of food

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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The power to turn jelly into peanut butter, but only in quantities of 17 gallons.

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power to be able to never have a power.

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The amazing ability to hack peoples profiles only when they're logged in.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!