The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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the power to crap out bite-sized super heroes.

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to kill someone as long as they've already been killed.

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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Taekwondo

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The power drown in water

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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The ability to be raped.

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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the power to jerk off

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The power to wake up and live through school....

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The power to see through air.

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The power to see 2 min. into the past.

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The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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the power to make fire but only when you are in water

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The ability to eat anything except for food

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The power to nail anyone you want (legally) but no one remembers, including you

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The ability to predict the future .000001 seconds in advance.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!