The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

thumb_up thumb_down +29

to make asians smart

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to teleport yourself naked in front of your mom each time she is naked. (it cant be shut of)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to complete the jigsaw puzzle that you got bored of because it was to hard and now its in the box and covered in dust

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The ability to hear fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The power to cook pop tarts really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The power to walk thru mud and not leave a footprint

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to become a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

solar powered night-vision

thumb_up thumb_down +120

the power to turn into amy rose

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to make a pint a gallon

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power of bullet atraction

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The ability to play UNO without a tongue

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Nihat Do?an

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The power to fail every time you try to do something

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!