The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The superpower to makr Thanksgiving turkey taste like rotten eggs!

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the power to glow in the dark during the day.

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The power to thumb ME down! Moral: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you do-own...

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The ability to crap, but only while being watched

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Ability to shit nuclear waste

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the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to shoot a any amount of milk out of your belly button every July 4th at 2 o'clock

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The power to attract bullets.

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The power to smell poop

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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The power to read your own mind!

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the power to resist texting and driving 76% of the time when you only own a landline.

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The power of turning poo into Adam Sandler movies

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The power to get up early for school, only on the weekends

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The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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power to fly, but only if your inside an airplane

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that each time your nearest friend gets hurt you get hurt with it more with 10 times

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!