The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The power to demand people to thumb you down! (That would make this pointless power even more pointless, which deserves a thumbs up... but...) Moral: THUMB ME DOWN! NAO!

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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power to fly, but only if your inside an airplane

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The power of bullet atraction

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that each time your nearest friend gets hurt you get hurt with it more with 10 times

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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to make asians smart

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The power to teleport yourself naked in front of your mom each time she is naked. (it cant be shut of)

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The ability to hear fish.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

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the power to move forward in time one second peer second

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The power to become a carrot.

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solar powered night-vision

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the power to turn into amy rose

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!