Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The ability to make your body colder in cold whether and hotter in hot whether

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The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

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the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

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The power to read all the other pointless superpowers

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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The power to see air

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The Power To Explode Only When You Are In Underwater And Not In The Earth's Atmosphere And In A Room Made Of Diamond

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The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

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The ability to have all of the money in the world, but then have to share it with everybody in the world.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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to make asians smart

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The ability to regenerate limbs but the limbs Come from different animals

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The power to troll.

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The ability to hear fish.

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Nihat Do?an

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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The power to read while your eyes are open but you can't read while your eyes are closed.

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The power to give someone the power to give the power.

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the power to float one atom above the ground

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the ability to tell time without a watch

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!