the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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to make asians smart

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to make people work and read ????

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

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The superpower to makr Thanksgiving turkey taste like rotten eggs!

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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the power to glow in the dark during the day.

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The power to become a carrot.

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The power to thumb ME down! Moral: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you do-own...

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the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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solar powered night-vision

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the super power to remove your super power

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the power to turn into amy rose

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the power to resist texting and driving 76% of the time when you only own a landline.

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The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

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The power to fly but only when your in space.

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!