The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

thumb_up thumb_down +80

the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to type 1,000 words per minute, but only on a 12 key tracphone ®

thumb_up thumb_down +78

the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to communicate with dandelions.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power to jump over a sheep when you turn 10 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to become extremely good at licking pussy... cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Beeing 99% Bullet proof, with the 1% shifting places to whereever a bullet is about to hit you.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power too shot seeds IF you are not alive

thumb_up thumb_down +36

shit and piss at the same time

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The power of x-ray vision only when you are naked in public. More people the stronger it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to sing Friday by Rebecca Black perfectly when it's thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The ability to walk with the exact slight misdirection of shoping trolleys

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The ability to become the most attractive person in the world, but only when you're all alone. Also, it doesn't show up on film.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power to only see things that are a shade of orange if the date adds up to a divisor of Pi x enough to make it a whole number, if you are wearing a hat and have recently expeled bodily fluid

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The power to breath in 1% more oxygen

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

thumb_up thumb_down

The ability to morph into someone else's left butt cheek

thumb_up thumb_down

See the answers to any question inside your head while suffering from severe dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down

Immunity to antipsychotic medication

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!