the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The power to not wake up until you get 9 hours of sleep

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The Power to stick your head up your ass. Aka be a politician.

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The ability to feel pain 1,000 times more acutely than an average human.

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The ability to feel all pain 30 seconds after it happens.

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The power to turn into air and go with the wind

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The power to explode on the moon

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The power to cheat death, but only when your alive...

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beard snap. ...snap your fingers and beards for all !!!

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The ability to control water but only when it is raining

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the power of wanting to download paid games for free and always failing

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to know what happens in a film seconds before watching it.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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The power to poke

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The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

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the power to scream "I LOVE JUSTIN BEIBER!!!" when your freinds are around (you can only have this power if you and the freinds you mostly hang out with hate jb)

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the power to stop writing pointless super powers

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!