The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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The power to read your own mind.

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The power to die

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to see at night but only black objects.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to understand what kate bush is singing

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The power to continuously shoot extremely powerful lasers from your eyes unless they're closed or you wear special, unbelievably expensive glasses.

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

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The power to poo.

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The power to fail every time you try to do something

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The power to turn into a lamp and stay that way till someone turns your light on.

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The power to look angry when not trying too and everyone else notices it and im just lonely.

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The power to have a poo at your girlfriend's house and be only 22.2% sure that it will flush

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The power to shapeshift into a frog, but not the power to turn back

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The power to turn into Donald Trump hair

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The power to become invincible when you're dead

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The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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the power to make men funnier smarter and more athletic then womer.

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the super power to remove your super power

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the power to be permanently unconfortable.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!