The power to look busy at work but only when the boss is not looking.

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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the power to turn into a rock and you cant turn back into a human

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The ability to breath fire through your mouth but only when your mouth is closed.

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The Power to stick your head up your ass. Aka be a politician.

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The ability to feel all pain 30 seconds after it happens.

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The power to run faster that a chetah when asleep, but to move as fast a snail when awake.

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The power to have a magnetically attractive force, but only to bullets

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The power to turn into air and go with the wind

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The power to explode on the moon

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The power to cheat death, but only when your alive...

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beard snap. ...snap your fingers and beards for all !!!

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The ability to control water but only when it is raining

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to know what happens in a film seconds before watching it.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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the power to scream "I LOVE JUSTIN BEIBER!!!" when your freinds are around (you can only have this power if you and the freinds you mostly hang out with hate jb)

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!