A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power too shot seeds IF you are not alive

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to poo in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to believe you are being hilarious... get it? Eh? ;) ;) Ahahaha XD Yeah, thats funny eh? Yeah I know, how does he do that xD, I wish I knew hahaha HOHOHO! I should be a comedian!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to never stop shitting.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

the power to be the best at a game but nobody knows you

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to close your eyes and drift off to a state of unconsciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The ability to teleport out of danger randomly, whenever you do you are handcuff at the hands and ancles naked. You also don't get to choose where you end up.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to spend more than £10 at a starbucks

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to finish work instantly but only after the deadline

thumb_up thumb_down +36

the power to convince girls to have sex with you, but you don't have a cock

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to have sex whenever you want, but only with Rosie O'Donnell

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The power of making your eyeballs bigger but without any significant improvement in your sight.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to be toilet paper and never run out of paper but still keep your sense of taste

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power to finish homework that dosen't even get A's

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The power to temporarily give yourself a random STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to see through windows

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to make dad jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The power to turn any department store into a Londis.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The abilty to jump 50m in the air without the abilty to survive long falls

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The power to be a Fox News anchor with something actually coherent to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

The superpower to speak from to anybody's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!