A healing punch

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The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

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The power to see extremely far, and to see trough everything except yourself. Congrats you are stuck with seeing your own ass wherever you go for the rest of your life. Yeh i am moral man whatevs...

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power to eat through your but

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The power to ma-FUK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSY

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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The ppwer to say SHAZAM, Then someone says wat?

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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The power to be yourself.

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The ability to laugh at migits at inapropriet times.

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the power to vote

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to walk into a room and not forget what you where going to do.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

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The power to travel through time to get through school but then fail at life.

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The ability to switch your fingers with thumbs, and your thumbs with baby corn.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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The power to give someone the power to give the power.

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the power to hate nature

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!