The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The power to be buried at sea

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Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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The power to fly, but you have to wee every 5 seconds.

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The power to not have this superpower

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The power to triple-click in the time it takes a regular human to double-click.

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The power to agree to the "Terms of Service" without actually reading them.

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The power to make only slightly funny jokes

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Having the power to trap bugs with your manly body hair (chest hair, nose hair, moustache, armpit hair, pubic.......)

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The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

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The power to kill yourself with your mind.

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The power to become annoyed by annoying people

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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the power two become drunk at anytime

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The power to change your reflection in a mirror, but only you have the power to see said altered reflection.

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The power to see as Stevie Wonder

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To see what you are currently doing from the same perspective of your regular vision, with the ability to understand that you're doing it. But not have the ability to stop yourself from doing what you were going to do as if you didn't have the power.

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to be bad at everything

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!