Lactokinesis

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The power to f*ck yourself

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The power to shoot pencils out of your mouth every 10 seconds

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The power to give anyone a Kim Jong-un haircut.

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The power to turn left while actually being right about right being left so you end up heading upways down the street and confuse the shit out of people. Moral: But will it blend?

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power to turn into an idiot once you get a scholorship.

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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the power to keep your fingertips wet at all times, so you can flip pages.

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The power to fly when u are in an elevator

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The power to fly, have heat vision, lift heavy things with ease, and invulnerability.

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The power to look angry when not trying too and everyone else notices it and im just lonely.

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The power to turn into a toothpick. Once. And you can't go back.

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The power to breathe

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The power to continuously and periodically turn oxygen into carbon dioxide using magic organs in your chest by sucking the the atmosphere through your mouth.

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The ability to be invincible, but still die.

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The power to shoot a any amount of milk out of your belly button every July 4th at 2 o'clock

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The power to glow while under the sun

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The power to blink slightly less often.

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The power to make you`re penis really long! Like 500 meters long, and not being able to make it short(er) again.

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The power to attract flies everytime you're eating or on a date.

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The power to lower your IQ (irreversible)

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the power to be really itchy.

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The power to use very big words but only when your at a retarted people convention

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The power to vote for Hillary Clinton and be happy with the decision that you made.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!