The power to make fish appear in pants.

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The ability to rape the willing.

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The power to make anyone with the exact same genetic makeup as you bleed at a wound if there is a bullet imbedded in their head

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The power to walk forward and walk backwards at the same time in a lying down position while your asleep having a wet dream about goat puppies.

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The power to play a flute with your ass

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The ability to make all the world's coffee lukewarm.

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The power to think of any superpower but not have it

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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The ability to know if there's an afterlife, but only after you've died

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The power to transform into a tiger but only if you are showering

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The ability to understand what a drunk Scottish man is saying, but only in the non-drinking bar.

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The power to turn time back... To the point where you turned it back.

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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The power to fly, but only while your feet are touching the ground.

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The power to automatically attach yourself to any active fireworks.

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The power to breathe underwater, only in sewers.

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the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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The power to do nothing/

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the power to never have to fill out captchas

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the power to see through bananas

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the power to not have power

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the power to think like a sumo wrestler between 2:30 and 3:30 am on thursdays

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!