the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to eat mayonnaise , but only when you do so, you become able to breath underwater for thirteen seconds!

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power to turn any dollar bill (1's, 5's, 10's etc.) and turn it into the amount of pennies equivalent to the bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to steal other people's pointless superpowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

THe power to become Hot Pink. Forever!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to push any muffin button, but u get no muffins

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to think of a funny pointless superpower then find out someone has already posted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The power to jump 0.23cm higher than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The powers to lose your current power forever

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The power to never be burned, but only when underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power of x-ray vision including mild radiation and only seeing bones

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The power to understand math.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

thumb_up thumb_down

The power to smell like poop once every hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The ability to teleport out of danger randomly, whenever you do you are handcuff at the hands and ancles naked. You also don't get to choose where you end up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power of not knowing the future

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The power to breath underwater, but only after someone has recently peed in it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The ability to say Chuck Norris is just a piece of shiuiiiiiiifweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem999999999999kkkkkkkkøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøfhiihdddde AND DIE! Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Gas station quality laser pointer vision.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!