The power to fly, but only while your feet are touching the ground.

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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the power to sell jars of bodily fluids for $25 each but get arressted shortly after

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The power to be buried at sea

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Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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The ability to go 100% slower

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The power to fly, but you have to wee every 5 seconds.

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When walking down the street, i try to get to a crack in the pavement a few feet ahead of me, and step on it before the next car passes me on the road

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The power to not have this superpower

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The power to triple-click in the time it takes a regular human to double-click.

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The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

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The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

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The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

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The power to have all your friends leave you

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The power to be HUMAN

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The power to become annoyed by annoying people

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The ability to rape the willing.

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The power to turn into a cat while a dog is watching you.

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the ability to cure anyone but only if you apply their injury to yourself

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the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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The power to see as Stevie Wonder

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!