MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The power to transform into an ant, but only on busy pavements in the after work rush.

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The power to have sex whenever you want, but only with Rosie O'Donnell

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to become yourself

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The power to poo.

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The ability to switch your fingers with thumbs, and your thumbs with baby corn.

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The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The power to teleport 10 years into the past just by sneezing. You also become hyper allergic to everything. And of course, you have no way to travel forward...

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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The ability to cry shampoo at will. But it still stings.

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The power to do a back flip by drinking water during a front flip

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The power to be Justin Bieber and be cool at the same time

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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The power to shit brix

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The power to turn any dollar bill (1's, 5's, 10's etc.) and turn it into the amount of pennies equivalent to the bill.

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the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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The power to catch em all

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The power to push any muffin button, but u get no muffins

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The power to do EVERYTHING backwards

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!