the power to spontaneously shoot glitter out of your ass

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Any telePATHETIC power you may get.

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the ability to teleport far away from here but still be stuck

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The power to be white and have a the pingas a size of a black man. Moral: You cannot comprehend the power of the dark side.

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The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

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The power to throw your crotch as a powerful one time grenade.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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the power to be on time daily, but only after ur late

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The power to conjure chairs at will.

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The ability to fly, but only when there's no gravity.

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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The ability to talk to snakes but only if you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead.

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The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to have sex whenever you want, but only with Rosie O'Donnell

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The power to be on facebook and do homework at the same time

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Gas station quality laser pointer vision.

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the power to only eat sugar, but not things that tastes sweet.

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The power to bleed out of your nose all the tme.

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You have the power to stop bullets from hitting you for a minute but after the minute is up the bullet will still hit you

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!