The power to wipe your ass once, and only once.

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the power to be able to switch tabs on your computer two seconds after your parents walk in the room

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The power to light someone's pants on fire by saying: "Lier Lier pants on fire"

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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The power to hit someone at the cost of your own life

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

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The power to turn food into shit.

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to kill yourself when you are dead.

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The power spite flower

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The power to be AMAZING in bed, but only when you're having sex with a midget over the age of 40.

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The power to speak with death people..

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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The power to come back to life just by yelling: I LIVE AGAIN! Or RESURRECTION! (which is not easy when you are dead)

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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The power to pee ants.

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The powr too not bee abal too tipe

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!