the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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penis

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The ability to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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the power to vote

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The power to stretch your tounge but it can only curve in a way that it only get inside your anus.

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the power to hate nature

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The power to be bullet proof (only works on bullets are thrown at you and not fired from a gun)

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the power to summon endless number of girls ages 6 to 13 but only if you 47 years old

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The ability to walk on your hands, but only when they are attached to your legs.

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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the power to make men funnier smarter and more athletic then womer.

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The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

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The power to type 1,000 words per minute, but only on a 12 key tracphone ®

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power to eat through your but

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The pointless superpower to take farewell with my two fans... well one... me included... Anyway, my goal was to make an impact, however small, and when I suddenly start featuring pointless inventions, I can see I made an impact... even if it was not exactly motivating... thank you everybody. Moral: Has left the network

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The power to remove all ads from any page *cough* please make that on this website *cough*

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The power to read but only when your using audio read.

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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The power to see very far with the eyes closed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!