The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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the power to turn star wars figurines into sticky notes, only on sunday afternoons

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The power to fly at Mach 3 but only if your in the air, but too bad cuz the power comes at a cost which is making you weigh 21 more tons than you used to weigh.

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

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The power to hear everything in pig-Latin.

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The power to see in to the future of one second

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The power to switch your right and left ears.

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The power to change the channel of the television every 2 hours.

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The power to possess every pointless superpower and be tasked with saving the world.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The power to use your legs in such a way that you can effectively walk,run or stay still whenever you want.

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The power to have diarrhea at any time

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The power to transform yourself into a door.

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The power to be able to get up 11.5% quicker than the average perosn

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the power to transform into biggie smalls after he just died

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The ability to pee freshly-made Japanese rice noodles.

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The ability to kill oxygen in a radius around you

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to kill a manin just 30 years a spoon

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The Power to climb on your own shoulders.

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The power to make doors disappear at will.

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!