The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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The power to end a sentence the way that people wasn't expecting them to orangoutang.

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The power to use the internet whenever you want, but only on dialup

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the power to see through glass

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The power to die uncontrollably and never come back or do anything else.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to shape-shift into a chair, but only a chair

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the ability to have children fully grown

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The power to become a carrot.

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To connect to the Playstation network with your mind! Who would want to?

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the power to stay up all night and take long naps during the day

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The ability to breathe oxyen, but only when in space.

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The power to run 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% slower.

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The superpower to think that you have a superpower

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The power to become any animal, but you have to be touching that animal to transform and it can only be a rat.

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The power to meme 20% harder

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The ability to know how someone felt exactly 1 year prior but you don't know why.

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The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

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the power to see when the lights are on

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The power to look busy at work but only when the boss is not looking.

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The power to hesitate when seeing naked girl.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to turn into air and go with the wind

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The power to talk to animals and have them partially understand you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!