The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

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The ability to teleport into high security prisons but you cant teleport out

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The power to have the comments not signed Moral: have much more thumbs ups.

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The power to smell poop

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THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

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X-ray vision which only allows you to see through clothes that are made of glass.

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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To be able to kill a Yak from 47 yards. No more, No less.

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The ability to become shit forever.

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The power to glow very bright and emit a loud alarm everytime you're scared.

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The power to be able to get up 11.5% quicker than the average perosn

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The power to jump into a puddle of pigs and scream: "Alllah is great" and the go home and have some nive frosted flakes.

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the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

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the power to make elton john gay

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The ability to control yourself while sleepwalking, but only when you're awake

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the power to be unable to have a power.

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the power to be immune to bullets only when your not getting shot at.

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The power to shoot pencils out of your mouth every 10 seconds

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the power to spawn goosebumps when ever you want

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The power to transform into yourself

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The ability to not finish sen...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!