The power to not die in lava but only when you are cold

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The power to turn into a lamp and stay that way till someone turns your light on.

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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The power to control time, space and rule the universe... But only when you are dreaming.

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the ability to have children fully grown

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The power to get the highest voted pointless superpower.

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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The power to transform your fingers into uncooked hotdogs.

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The power to inhale beverages through your genitals.

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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The power to always find lost objects... right after buying a replacement.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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The ability to crap, but only while being watched

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The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

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the power to summon endless number of girls ages 6 to 13 but only if you 47 years old

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The power to shit dirt!

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The ability to turn into a hipster at will.

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the power to eat gold and turn it into koosh balls

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power to remember everything then forgetting it 10 seconds later.

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The power of having any superpower Batman has at will.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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Having super strength, But only when you're asleep.

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The power to find hiding spots quicker... like anne frank and osama bin ladin

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!