The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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The power to reed a platypus mind.

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The power to levitate mustard.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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The power to walk 1% faster.

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the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The ability to consume nutrient of the object what you swallow.

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The power to take a pill without drinking anything.

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The power to smell like poop once every hour.

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The power to find treasure, when you try to look for it.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to know what Willis is talking about.

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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The power to live through torture.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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Gas station quality laser pointer vision.

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The power to sweeten sugar

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The power to do a hand stand with your feet

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!