The ability to eat your enemies and get their powers only when your are starving to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to uncontrollably make your clothes dissapear and only in church.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to turn your head 360 degrees

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to cease to exist at birth!

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to have a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to turn pizza into math worksheets. -Big C

thumb_up thumb_down +63

the power to kill yourself at will

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The ability to see the future but only when you are in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The power to kill yourself to take out a criminal... except for the fact that when you kill yourself you literally might as well be throwing a marshmallow at someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to make your family act like total rednecks but only in front of your girl/boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to eat your own face.. the one time

thumb_up thumb_down +47

the power to be a complete troll

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The power to make your hair turn green but only if you are holding green hair dye and when you use the power the green hair dye goes away

thumb_up thumb_down +43

the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Spontaneous combustion... when on the internet

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to instantly ressurect at the very same spot if you get submerged under lava or acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to think out loud without saying a word

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

the power to stop time for everything... including yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power to automatically uncensor anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

the power to hover 1 atom above the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The power to be white and have a the pingas a size of a black man. Moral: You cannot comprehend the power of the dark side.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to be Helen Keller at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!