The power to instantly ressurect at the very same spot if you get submerged under lava or acid.

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The power to change any text in sight from US to British spelling.

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the power to stop time for everything... including yourself

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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The power to walk forward and walk backwards at the same time in a lying down position while your asleep having a wet dream about goat puppies.

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The power to never be burned, but only when underwater.

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Being immortal but not being able to eat food and you always feel horrible, but your body heals you every day so you get more pain every day.

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the power to be on time daily, but only after ur late

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the power to be invisible, but only at night

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the power to eat waffles

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North Korea's Nuclear missile program.

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The Power of being Friendzoned

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The Power to turn all your friends into a one dollar bill.

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The ability to know if there's an afterlife, but only after you've died

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The power of not knowing the future

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The power to be invincible when you cannot get hurt

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The power to sing beautifully but only when around def people.

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The ability to switch out elevator music with NPR

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The power to orgasm every five.. UGGHOOOAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power of super strength but only in your left pinky toe - EO

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The power to summon earthworms

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The power to make the tip of your penis invisible at will.

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!