The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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the power to jump, but only on any surface

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

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The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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The power to see through glass

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The power to turn invisible except for your fingers and toes.

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the power to uncontrolably shoot bananas out of your hands

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the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

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The ability to produce rainbows and yoghurt from your armpits.

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The ability to turn into a moth only when you run into a spider web.

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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The power to poop without wiping

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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The power to have any computer in the world but it has to be before the 1990.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!