The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The power to fart and smell like shit and not be shit.

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to look at yourself in third person

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The power to jump, but only on the ground.

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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The power to change your urine to any color

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the power to be infinitely constipated

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The power to easily persuade people to your opposing viewpoint

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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Steel kidneys

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The power to see red in a slightly lighter shade

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to read Chuck-E-Cheese's mind.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

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Levitation Power but only 3 inch from ground,

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The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

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The power to have a blue, silhouetted body, and a trollface for a head.

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The power to buy anything for free, as long as it is black.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The power to jump borders, but you live and are confined to Iceland.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!