The power to turn justin beiber into a girl

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The power of hindsight

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The power to look really cool when sitting in a chair when nobody's looking at you

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The Power to clone yourself instantly, but one of you dies!

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The power to fly while masturbating.

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The power to be black, but only if you are at a KKK meeting

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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The power to become invisible when no one is looking.

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The power to lower your own ego.

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The ability to fly with wings on only one leg

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The power to think about a location and forget that you travelled all the way there, making you think you can teleport.

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The power to have night vision during the day.

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The ability to arouse any woman over the internet but never meet them in person.

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The Power the run away when there is a crime

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The power to remove the pubic hair of career politicians during their first stump speech of a campaign and return it to them during their concession or acceptance speech.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The power to part clouds when there are no clouds.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to change any font after the paper is printed. But it turns to comic sans

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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The power to run super fast, but only while in space.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!