The power to shit dirt!

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The power to run Crysis.

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THE POWER OF AUTISM !!!

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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the power to jerk off

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to step only on the surface of lego bricks, no other surface.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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the power to eat bread

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the power to die tomorrow morning.

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The ability to read anything, and never understand it.

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The power to be invulnerable as long as you are dead.

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The power to turn into a 90 year old woman with 20+ diseases

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The power to talk to talking animals.

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The power to give someone the power to give the power.

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The power to fall from any height and stop in midair right before you hit the ground, then continue falling with 100x the velocity from before you stopped.

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The power to see Waldo everywhere you look, unless your looking at his books

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The power to die on the spot and not revive

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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The power to be able to have intercourse with every girl you want, while being the most gay man alive..

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The ability to find a use for 8th grade Algebra.

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Ability to sense moon cycle based on libido.

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!