The power to laugh in the face of danger except for that time you walked face first into a glass door.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The ability to cause a random object in the world to increase in temperature by ten degrees fahrenheit

thumb_up thumb_down +156

The ability to make children cry whenever they see you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Turn gold into lead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The ability to simultaneously implode and explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to see through glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +383

The power to talk to animals but only if they've been run over first.

thumb_up thumb_down +284

The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The ability to reduce the value of a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The power to freeze at the school's front door when its home time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The power to make women have their most amazing orgasms, but be hideously disfigured.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to predict when a door will unlock.

thumb_up thumb_down +249

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thumb_up thumb_down -354

The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The power 2 kiss ur own ass

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The power to touch objects that are a millimeter from your fingertips.

thumb_up thumb_down +241

The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to pee after drinking lots of water

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to be extremely slow, (like in matrix slowmotion) but your foes aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +362

The power to know the ending of the book before you get there.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!