ability to levitate using my fart...

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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The power to fail every time you try to do something

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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The Power to stick your head up your ass. Aka be a politician.

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The power to microwave bread

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The ability to fly a millimeter of the actual natural ground (cancelling stuff like concrete and water) or perfectly levitating; Criss Angel style

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the power to command the sperm you ejaculate

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The ability to be any woman but only when she's in labor.

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The power to make an apple you're holding taste delicious, but only for other people

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The power to go to hell

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The power to come up with fantastic comebacks, at the person's funeral.

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the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

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The ability to die at will.

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the power of reading your own mind while in a car accident

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the power to see stuff

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

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The power to give birth to giraffes

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The power to be french.

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The power to have lemon scented diarrhea

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The power to change the color of foliage. In the name of justice.

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The power to be a limbless emotionless and powerless being but being a total Invincible person in return.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!