The power to manage Chelsea FC

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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The power to block every twenty third bullet, shot at point blank range.

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The power to predict the past.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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to make water turn blue when you touch it.

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How 'bout the power to move you? - Wonderboy

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The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The power to go through open windows

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The power to fly, but only on the moon

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The power to look into cheese.

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The power to think about useless power

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The power to be illiterate when you open a book.

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The power to smell farts nearby

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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The ability to be able to slide down a blade naked using your balls as breaks

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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The power to vote for donald trump #FeelTheBern

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!