The power to walk 1% faster.

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To be able to cut paper by doing the scissor action with your fingers.

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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The power to instantly kill anyone you start to love

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

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the power to burn your school down from napalm farts.

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The power to think of a good super power right now.

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The power to give people an inexplicable hatred for you.

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The power to be Rosie O'Donnell.

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The superpower to die in a 1 second.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!