the power to shit out of your nose

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The power to hurt your enemies but feel their pain

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to have another pointless superpower

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Being able to transform into anything on and off the planet, only, you have to be touching that object.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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tumor boy, has the power to grow a tumor in his own body.

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the power to travel through in time, but only you when you are sleeping.

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The ability to be raped.

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The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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The ability to tolerate listening to Nick Cannon's albums.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The power to transform gold into nothing.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to make pencils dull.

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The ability to change your hair color to your current hair color

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!