The power to turn toast back into bread

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The power to teleport in the bottom of the sea.

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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The pointless superpower to point any where and one of those bouncy castles appear.

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The power to communicate with sperm.

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The power to accelerate your own aging when you're happy. Unfortunately it's irreversible.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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Being alive (until you die).

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the ability to be invincible but your weakness is air.

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The power to turn into a potato banana hybrid.

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the power to only have to go to the bathroom once a year but smell like poop the whole year.

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The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power of laser pointer vision.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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the power to herd cats

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The power to remember and talk about random Pokémon facts during a life and death situation.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power of finding an object that you thought it disappered in a black hole in your bedroom.

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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The power to grab a cats face

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!