the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to uncontrollably laugh and point at every black guy you see

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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You're super strong, but only when punching SUV's.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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The power of speaking every laguage on earth, but to know only one word in your entire life.

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The power to throw a rock at the ground and miss

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The ability to not live forever

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to do nothing

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the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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Having the power to trap bugs with your manly body hair (chest hair, nose hair, moustache, armpit hair, pubic.......)

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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the ability to die but to reappear as a strange families pet turkey

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!