Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The ability to not get sunburn, but only at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +117

the power to kiss your own ass

thumb_up thumb_down +111

To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to make the key on your keyboard not work

thumb_up thumb_down +107

understanding every language only if you get insulted

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The power to teleport homeless people to the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The ability 2 breath underwater, but not above water

thumb_up thumb_down +103

the power to teleport to the center of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to eat food.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

The power HAVE A SUPER POWERD LASER SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +93

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

thumb_up thumb_down +93

the power to have powers (super strength,speed ,and flight) in a minute only.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

the ability to do absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to change different colours depending on you feel.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

the power to turn O2 into CO2

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Every time you clap some one dies

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to understand irony.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!